Young, (not so) dumb and full of glitter, the founder of shipyourenemiesglitter.com, Mat Carpenter is rolling in it (…glitter, that is) after his satirical web-concept became an instant hit.
His success is sadly not filled with Willy Wonka’s fountain of chocolate, unicorns or rainbows, he’s stuck his hand up and wants it all to just STAHHP!
The poor lad was inundated with over a thousand orders for glitter filled envelopes before he pulled the plug.
But to be honest, we want him to employ a team of glitter-packing freaks and continue this mission of terror on all crappy people who may or may not experience glitterphobia.
1. Your crappy-friend may not deserve physical pain, but some mental exhaustion will do.
2. Eventually the glitter will make its way to their genitals…but you didn’t have to touch their underpants to get it there.
3. You can call your enemy Edward in public for at least a month.
4. In case pooping glitter is a thing.
5. Technically you’re giving them free therapy by making them face their fear.
6. They don’t have to know it was you.
7. You can invite them around for Christmas, so you don’t need to by any decorations.
Sorry, we’re not sorry, Mat.
If glitter is not your thing, find some other cool gifts, gadgets or toys at yellowoctopus.com.au