51 Hilarious Valentine’s Day Puns and One-Liners

Let’s Get To The Heart Of The Matter…

Valentine’s day is all about love. Love makes the world go round. But what goes hand in hand with love? Laughter, of course. So here’re 51 hearty Valentine’s puns to snuggle up to and share. And to ensure Cupid really hits the spot, pick out a Valentine’s day gift they’ll love as much as you—discover it right here.

The Funniest (and Naughtiest) Valentine’s Day One-Liners and Puns

1. Let’s talk about love and have a heart to heart.

2. We met on a construction project. It was love at first site.

3. I put up a post that you make my heart go all a Twitter.

4. Sorry, my mistake, I thought you said a massage of love.

5. I only got you a little something. It’s a Valentiny.

6. Dear Cupid, next time hit both of us.

7. There’s no one else I’d rather lay in bed and look at my phone with.

8. For me every morning it’s love at first sight. A mirror is a wonderful thing.

9. Hopefully Valentine’s day is a day you do get to stop and smell the roses.

10. Do I have a date for Valentine’s day. Yes. February 14th.

11. I bought you a coke for Valentine’s Day because my love is the ‘real thing’.

12. My love for you is unconditional. Can you just sign here?

13. I bought you chocolates because I can’t fudge my love for you.

14. Let’s get to the heart of the matter. I love you.

15. I bought my girlfriend a dog for Valentine’s Day to show her it was more than puppy love.

16. Of course falling in love is a risk. You’re letting a baby with a bow and arrow decide.

17. Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year you can do something Cupid.

18. Valentine’s Day – the commercialisation of our love.

19. Annoyingly, I like you way more than I planned.

20. I’d love you so much I’d take a bullet for you. In the leg. Just grazing. No blood.

21. If you’re on your own on Valentine’s Day, pet your cat.

22. I would shave my beard for you.

23. I need an oxygen tank around you because you take my breath away.

24. I loved you Instagrammedly.

25. Would you be my Valentine? You suck less than most people.

26. If love is blind, why is lingerie such a popular gift.

27. No need for a present – I give you my heart.

28. I don’t love you for your money. I love you for our money.

29. I love you because you’re almost exactly like me. And I’m the best.

30. I refuse to buy you expensive gifts on Valentine’s day. I love you every day.

31. I’m going to spend Valentine’s day with my one true love. Food.

32. I love you. Not as much as my morning coffee but more than the one after lunch.

33. If you don’t have someone on Valentine’s day, don’t be sad. It means no one loves you on the other 364 days either.

34. Stop thief. You stole my heart.

35. You’re always at the top of my list, because you’re my favourite thing to do.

36. Love means never having to say you’re sorry. Not until you’ve really grovelled first.

37. Sorry, I thought L.O.L. meant Lots of Love.

38. You are my one true love. All the others are lying sons of…

39. I would follow you to the end of the earth. That’s not stalking is it?

40. If love makes the world go around, why is our relationship so up and down.

41. I love you yesterday, today and tomorrow. Beyond that I’m not making any promises.

42. My wife has cute pet names for me. Fido, Rover, Spot.

43. Any male will do. Damm, I’ll even settle for an email.

44. Valentine’s Day demonstrates that love does come at a cost.

45. They say you can’t buy love. But diamonds seem to make a pretty good down-payment.

46. Oh candy! I thought you said you loved randy.

47. If love is a rollercoaster let’s take a ride.

48. Roses are red, violets are blue. Wow! Flowers are really expensive.

49. I used to celebrate Valentine’s day. Now I celebrate it as Independence Day.

50. I love you just the way I am.

51. Good news.Got a date for Valentines. Get to wear a suit and everything. Bad news. It’s a court date.


Love, laugh; and make it memorable. How? Get your perfect partner the perfect Valentine’s day gift