We love to be scared half to death and we love a laugh on Halloween. Here’s the opportunity to combine the two. While you’re getting the kids ready for trick and treating, with costumes, props and lolly bags, be the court jester and make them laugh, roll their eyes and groan… See, they’re already turning into little monsters.
Halloween Jokes For Kids
Be a Funny Mummy or a Devilish Dad with these wicked winners.
> What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
> What happens to trees on Halloween?
They become petrified.
> What rides do ghosts love at the amusement park?
The Scary-Go-Round and the RollerGhoster.
> Why don’t skeletons like trick or treat?
They haven’t got the stomach for it.
> Where on a street do vampires live?
The dead end.
> Who was the best dancer at the Halloween party?
The Boogie Man.
> Why do they put big fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
> Where should you go if zombies break into your house?
The living room.
> Why don’t mummies make friends?
Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
> Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
> Why do vampires use mouthwash?
Because they have bat breath.
> How do monsters know their future?
They read their horrorscopes.
> Why does rain annoy ghosts on Halloween?
It dampens their spirits.
> Why did the ghost have to wait patiently at the doctors?
Because the doctor couldn’t see him right now.
> Why did the werewolf get indigestion?
He wolfed his food down.
> Why don’t mummies take holidays?
They’re afraid of unwinding.
> Did you hear about the book on Halloween?
It was written by a ghostwriter.
> What sandwich terrifies vampires?
A stake sandwich.
> Did you hear about the vampires on Married at First Sight?
It really was love at first bite.
> What did one ghost say to the other ghost.
Do you believe in people?
> Why did the vampire go to the electronics store?
To buy a giant plasma set.
> What do ghosts love for dessert?
I-scream and booberry pie.
> Where do witches learn their spells?
> Why are gremlins always at the gym?
So they can stay trim enough to fit under beds.
> Where do baby ghosts go during the day?