35 Funny Minion Quotes (OMG! Tomorrow’s Monday?!!)

These Minion movie quotes are brilliant. They are incredibly relatable. Like the film, these ingenious quotes will make you laugh so much it hurts. Here’s a few examples:

“Oh, honey! Women don’t snore, we purrrrr.”
“Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.”
“Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!”

Keep reading for more hilarious Minion quotes…

The Funniest Minion Quotes 

  1. When you really want to slap someone, do it and say “Mosquito”.

  2. Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

  3. If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while, it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.

  4. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

  5. Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘awesome’ ends with ‘me’ and ‘ugly starts with ‘u’.

  6. Mess with me? I’ll let karma do its job. Mess with my family or friends? I become karma!

  7. I wonder if common sense will ever make a comeback?

  8. Remember, if we get caught, you are deaf and I don’t speak English!

  9. Dear Stress, let’s break up.

  10. My diet plan: make all my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.

  11. Respect your parents. They passed school without google!

  12. When you’re stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

  13. I keep telling myself I need to stop talking to weirdos, but if I did that, I wouldn’t have any friends left!

  14. I might look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy.

  15. Honestly, I’m an angel. The horns are just there so my halo sits straight.

  16. *Phone on silent*. 10 missed calls. *Turns volume to loudest*. Nobody calls all day.

  17. They say milk gives you strength, so I drank 5 glasses and still couldn’t move a wall… I tried 5 shots of vodka and saw the wall move itself.

  18. It takes real skill to choke on air, fall up stairs and trip over completely nothing. I have that skill.

  19. Note to self: just because it pops into my head does not mean it should come out of my mouth.

  20. It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself, but when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said, you have a problem!!

  21. Oh, honey! Women don’t snore, we purrrrr.

  22. Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

  23. Every time I lose some weight I find it again in the refrigerator.

  24. Sometimes the grass will appear greener on the other side because it has been fertilised with bullshit!

  25. I’m going to try and act like a normal, happy and mentally stable person. Wish me luck.

  26. I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not bacon!!

  27. I stay up late every night, regret it every morning, and then do it all over again!

  28. Where does all my money go? It’s like, hocus pocus I’m broke.

  29. Your husband will always be your biggest and oldest child that requires the most adult supervision.

  30. All I need right now is a hug and five hundred thousand dollars in cash!

  31. When life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them as hard as you can at the people making your life difficult!

  32. The hacker was so disappointed in my bank account… He started a go fund me page.

  33. I’m in the mood to misbehave! Who’s with me!!!

  34. Police: “You were going fast” Me: “I was trying to keep up with traffic. Police: “there isn’t any.” Me: I know! That’s how far behind I am.

  35. OMG! Tomorrow’s Monday?!!

  36. Send me words of encouragement so I don’t murder someone at work. There is no Netflix in prison.

  37. I wouldn’t have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.

  38. That moment when you walk into a spider web and suddenly turn into a karate master.

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