Australian phrases can be hilariously confusing… “I’m flat out like a lizard drinking.” What? What’s a lizard drinking got to do with it? Or “I’m as dry as a dingo’s donger.” Huh? But that’s us. Why state the bleeding obvious when we can use our dry, laconic sense of humour—and create a form of communication that is uniquely ours. So do yourself a favour and cast your beady ones over these crackers and have a cackle.
51 Hilarious Aussie Phrases and Their Meanings
We’ve collected 51 of the most iconic Australian quotes and sayings. Why not have some fun and start slipping them into your daily conversations? You may soon find you’ve mastered another language: ‘Strine’.
Funny Australian Phrases Made As Clear As Day
- “Time for a Pommie shower.”
This means there’s no time for a real shower, just enough time to squirt on some deodorant before heading out for a big night.
- “I’m cactus, I’m gonna chuck a sickie.”
You’re worn out, probably from too much partying and you’re going to ring the boss and tell them you’re not coming in today.
- “Geez mate, it’ll take forever, he lives in woop woop.”
Woop woop means a place in the middle of nowhere.
- “I’m drinking with the flies mate.”
If this is the case you’re all alone and having a drink on your ‘pat malone’ (own).
- “The lights are on but nobody’s home.”
If someone makes reference to you with this term they mean there’s nothing going on between your ears. That is, you’re not too bright.
- “Flat out like a lizard drinking.”
This means you are literally as busy as you can be.
- “I’m as dry as a dingo’s donger.”
Dingos traditionally live in arid areas with little access to water. Thus, their donger ( read male appendage ) rarely gets wet. Therefore, you’re very, very thirsty.
- “I’m not the Pope mate.”
This means, I don’t know everything.
- “She’s a happy little vegemite.”
She’s very, very happy.
- “They were like a pick-pocket at a nudist camp.”
They were very confused as to what to do next.
- “He’s as fit as a Mallee bull.”
The Mallee is known for its rugged, dry terrain. To survive there you need to be tough and strong, as are the Mallee bulls.
- “I’m going to suss it out.”
This means you’re on a mission to find out more about something.
- “I’ll have to bring the ankle biters with me.”
It means you’re on child minding duties. Ankle biters (given kids are small and thus in close proximity to your ankles) are of course, kids.
- “Got a five finger discount.”
Hang your head in shame. This means you shoplifted the item in question.
- “As useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.”
You are of no use at all.
- “I’m gonna bail mate.”
I’m tired and I’m heading home.
- “Well blow me down.”
You’re amazed or astonished.
- “He’s built like a brick shithouse.”
A very solid, powerful looking individual.
- “I’m chockers mate.”
This means you’re absolutely full and couldn’t eat another thing.
- “You made a dog’s breakfast of that.”
If you did, you completely made a mess of it, just like a dog’s breakfast.
- “He did his block.”
He got very, very angry.
- “I reckon we’re even stevens.”
You’re all square and don’t owe each other anything more.
- “The game was a fizzer.”
Just like a firework that doesn’t go off, neither did the game.
- “Don’t be a galah.”
The Galah is a noisy, annoying bird. You’re being told not to be noisy and annoying either.
- “I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.”
You’re absolutely starving.
- “I’ve got a shocking case of the trots.”
Unfortunately, you have diarrhoea. Anyway, trots is much easier to spell.
- “Watch out for Joe Blakes.”
Keep an eye out for snakes.
- “He disappeared like a rat up a drainpipe.”
He disappeared very quickly.
- “How about mate’s rates?”
This means you’re asking for a discount.
- “Time for smoko, mate.”
Time for a break.
- “Wouldn’t piss on them even if they were on fire.”
You don’t care for this person at all.
- “You can have one of my Tim Tams.”
This means I really love you.
- “Stop taking the piss.”
Stop making fun of me.
- “Fair suck of the sauce bottle.”
This means that you want to be treated fairly.
- “Don’t come the raw prawn with me.”
Don’t try anything dodgy on me.
- “He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
He’s not really all that bright.
- “Do you want to worship at the temple?”
A corny pick-up line used by young blokes trying to impress.
- “As the crow flies, mate.”
It is the straightest route from one place to another.
- “A couple of slices short of a loaf.”
This means he’s not quite all there.
- “He gave me a bum steer.”
You got a bad deal.
- “Done like a dinner.”
Usually referring to a sporting contest where you’ve been beaten badly.
- “Wrap your laughing gear ‘round that.”
An invitation to get stuck in and eat.
- “I reckon she’s carked it.”
Unfortunately someone or something has passed away.
- “That’s a ripsnorter!”
It’s a great thing.
- “You’ve got Buckleys.”
This means you’ve got no chance. Funnily, he did. Buckley was an escaped convict in Tasmania who survived for 30 years in the wild.
- “You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.”
You can’t fool me.
- “Put a sock in it.”
Basically, shut up!
- “Six of one, half a dozen of another.”
It’s neither good nor bad.
- “Don’t piss in my pocket.”
Don’t try to get on my good side by using false praise.
- “Get onya bike.”
Time for you to leave.
- “They’ve got a face like a dropped pie.”
They’re none too attractive.
Whilst our love of funny Australian phrases leaves everyone but the well informed baffled, there’s nothing confusing about Yellow Octopus Gifts. They’re all bloody awesome!