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“No-Way!” News: The Best CRAZY But True Aussie News

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“No-Way!” News: The Best CRAZY But True Aussie News

Sick of fake news? Then you’ll love the “No Way!” News. Why? Because it’s the best CRAZY but true Aussie news. And hereeeeee we go…


Brisbane Influencer Lacks Influence, Goes Hungry

The Instagram influencer, Brisbane Weekender, reportedly requested a free dinner and drinks for three people (worth about $400) from The Low Road Windsor Restaurant.

The wife of the restaurant co-owner and chef, responded on Instagram, “I’m not really sure when or why it became acceptable to exchange an Instagram post for years of hard work….”

Within 24 hours of her response, three fake negative reviews appeared. A backlash against the ‘influencers’ followed as Brisbanites supported their local restaurant.

While the ‘Influencers’ didn’t get their free meal; they did get their just desserts.


Tall Trucks Vs Short Bridges

Despite the driver ducking his head inside the cabin, his truck crashed into the rail bridge on Inkerman Rd, Melbourne. See the damage here.

Not to be outdone, the next day another Melbourne trucker drove his truck into a low clearance bridge. He also managed to roll his truck. More damage here.

Before any Sydneysiders make any Melbournian jokes, we’d like to refer you to the even more recent Burwood Road ‘bridge vs truck’ incident: Sydney has bridges too.

These may simply be accidents or part of a larger coordinated protest against bridges.


Knight Riding On Tram Saves Dad In Distress

“His Mum told us not to take [his son’s fluffy toy sword] and we lost it within 5 minutes!” said the distressed Dad. “The didgeridoo player on Bourke St Mall was too exciting for us so we ran off the tram and left it behind.”

In desperation, he posted a picture of the lost sword on Reddit. A man riding the 96 Brunswick Tram saw it and yelped “that’s the Reddit sword!”

He informed the panic-stricken Dad that he “Found it outbound to St Kilda just before Crown around 5.30pm on a fairly packed tram.”

Upon returning the sword to its rightful owner, the Brunswick Knight was “bestowed with a ‘pig monster’ recycled from milk and egg cartons.”

You can follow the fluffy sword’s journey from lost, to found, to returned.


Mobility Scooter Outruns Police On Monash Freeway

An elderly gentleman drove his mobility scooter onto Melbourne’s Monash Freeway. We can only assume he was expecting to hit Melbourne’s peak hour traffic.

But instead of gridlocked traffic, his mobility scooter was greeted by semi-trailers and soccer Mums flying by at 104 km/h.

Soon the Highway Patrol were in pursuit. They signalled for him to pull over. But like Ned Kelly on his horse, he rode right on by and flipped them the bird.

While the elderly outlaw has become an Aussie legend, like Ned Kelly, he too was eventually apprehended. Such is life.

Watch the full Police chase here.


Hungry Husband Vs Wife TimTam War

A hungry husband hid the last of the Tim Tams in the vegetable crisper, “So I might actually have a chance of having one.”

The next night he returned to the vegetable crisper in the dead of night—only to find an empty packet of Tim Tams and a Post-it note saying “You lose.”

“This is war,” he said to himself.

According to the Bureau of Tim Tam intelligence, he is considering either swapping the contents of a new packet of Tim Tams with an Aldi knockoff, or taking the nuclear option and hiding them outside of the fridge.

His wife denies any knowledge of the missing Tim Tams or who posted the note. However, she admonishes him for breaking the Australian Tim Tam treaty of 1964.

View the full war-report here.


That was the “No-Way!” News. Thanks for reading. Now, because it’s only fair to share—share the “No-Way!” news with your Aussie mates!

Tom Raider

Tom Raider

Our wily wordsmith, Tom, is a key weaver of yarns and the chief storyteller at Octopus HQ. Tom writes words of wit and wisdom which can be read on Yellow Blogtopus. He also helps pen the praiseworthy product descriptions that help you decide what you feel like purchasing from us. Along with our Marketing Maestro, he helps brain storm and devise new plans for how to spread the name of Yellow Octopus to deserving Australians from Kakadu all the way to King Island.

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