Here’s a collection of hilarious birthday puns and quips. Pitch-perfect for you to splash across your card or slip wittily into a birthday toast.
These birthday puns get the laughter rolling as you celebrate:
- Kids and Friends: “I thought you meant you wanted my presence…oh! You meant presents.
- The “Older” Generation: “Hey Grandpa, I got you a gift you’ll never part with. A comb.”
- Someone Special: “My girlfriend said she wanted a ring for her birthday. But when I called to say Happy Birthday, she hung-up.”
Keep reading for more fantastically fun birthday puns. But don’t forget to buy a pressie. To find some awesome gifts they’ll be rapt to unwrap, visit Yellow Octopus.
Side Splitting Birthday Puns About Kids And Friends
Birthday puns put the pun in fun. All ages love to laugh or groan at a birthday pun full of fun.
> “I thought you meant you wanted my presence … oh! You meant presents!”
> “Little kids are so easy to buy for. My sister told me that my niece loves anything Frozen. So I got her frozen peas, beans, pizza, pop tarts…”
> “I knew you’d be wrapt in my present. Took seven layers of paper and two rolls of sticky tape.”
> “My daughter wasn’t thrilled when I got her a Little Pony instead of a real pony. I told her not to look a gift horse in the mouth.”
> “They say you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Guess I showed them.”
> “My teenage daughter said she didn’t want anything lame for her birthday. I told Grandma to stay at home.”
> “Thanks for being born. It gives us an excuse to drink and eat cake.”
> “I got you a card. It’s the Ace of Spades.”
> “I didn’t buy you a pressie but this shows how much I card about you.”
> “I bought you a loaf of bread for the toast.”
> “Here’s a bottle of whiskey for your birthday. So put up or shot up.”
> “In dog years you’d be dead.”
> “I usually give great gifts. Present company excepted!”
> “To ensure your gift is P.C. make certain it’s all present and correct.”
> “What is it about birthday parties that they always end up in years.”
> “Birthdays are not always what they’re wise-cracked up to be.”
Birthday Puns To Tickle The Old Funny Bone
Birthday puns give the older rellies something to groan about. Only this time with belly laughs and tears of joy.
> “Age only matters if you’re cheese.”
> “Be careful. Too many birthdays will kill you!”
> “I hope I wrote Happy Birthday big enough for you to read.”
> “I’ll never send you a card making fun of your age. I know how sensitive old people are about that sort of thing.”
> “I need glasses to read my birthday cards. Wine glasses.”
> “Hang on. Before we light the candles, I’ll just give the fire brigade a quick ring.”
> “You’re wrinkled, bald and overweight. What? You meant the other whine.”
> “I guess from now on, every birthday is a surprise!”
> “Hey Grandpa! I got you a gift you’ll never part with. A comb.”
> “You know you’re getting old when the message on the cake says, “Candle with care.”
> “I’m sure my Nana was a spy because she’s still a “secret age-nt.”
> “My speech involved giving Grandpa a “toast of his own medicine.”
> “We’re so glad you’re alive and “cake-ing”.
> “You know you’re getting old when you can organise your own surprise party.”
> “At the retirement home everybody shouts but no one buys drinks.”
Birthday Puns That’ll Put You In The Good Books (Or Maybe Not )
With these birthday puns you can be funny or heartfelt. Maybe both. Just get the order right.
> “You’re the apple of my eye and awesome to the core.”
> “I bought you chocolates for your birthday. But they’re not as sweet as you.”
> “It’s your birthday so I scent you your favourite perfume.”
> “I bought you a gift but I’ll give you my heart.”
> “Diamonds are forever. That’s how long I’ll be paying off the ring.”
> “My girlfriend said she wanted a ring for her birthday. But when I called to say Happy Birthday she hung up.”
> “My wife wanted a huge celebration for her birthday. But I told her a fool and his money is soon part-ied.”
> “Your invitation said come as you are. Will I look silly in my birthday suit?”
> “What do you mean a pack of cards is a terrible present? You said you wanted something with diamonds in it!”
> “My wife didn’t like my gift from the second hand shop. Apparently she said something Gold.”
Birthdays are fun. And birthday puns add to the enjoyment. But so does an awesome gift. Here’s where to find some super gifts.